This morning, I got up at 6 and headed to the roof of Maria’s to journal and read God’s Word. Here’s some of my journaling:
I’m sitting on the roof of Maria’s, watching the nannies arrive for work on their bikes. Across the yard, I can hear the children in the state orphanage calling out as they wake up. Even though it’s early, I can hear the honking of traffic. The sun already blazes through the smog, and the humidity hangs heavy in the air. Patches of corn are wedged between dirty buildings, like little pieces of Nebraska nestled into a corner of China.
On the walls of the roof are the names of the children that have passed away at Maria’s and the words, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Being here is so humbling.
Last night I went to bed at 10. Five hours later, my body decided that it had already gotten it’s normal amount of sleep, it was time to be up and awake, and it was time to use the bathroom. I laid there for a while, trying to go back to sleep and wondering why I am here. Why did God choose me?
Finally, I gave up on sleep and went to use the bathroom. I’m convinced that great thoughts occur in bathrooms. I suddenly was reminded that it doesn’t matter if I know God’s purpose in bringing me here. I trust that he has a reason, and that is enough. I’m not always satisfied with not knowing, but I have to trust God. So many people have sacrificed to help me get here, and God has made it abundantly clear that this is where I’m meant to be. If He didn’t want me here, I would’ve been stranded at an airport. Knowing this, it’s my job–through the power of the Holy Spirit–to make the most of every opportunity, which is easier said than done.
Please pray that I’d have a servant’s heart as we spend the next few days here at Maria’s. Thank you for all your prayers and messages–they mean so much to me!